Well this has been such a long time coming. Like at least a dozen years. My dad is a brilliant chemist and we have been working on developing the best barrier and diaper cream out there. And paraben free as well…
About twelve years ago, Dad was sending me tubes of different creams he’d make up, and I was in my bungalow in Hollywood talking to my mom back home in suburban Philadelphia. At the time, Rosie O’Donnell had her talk show on the air. So mom says, “Mellie, can’t you get the cream to Rosie? You know her. She could talk about it on the air.” I said, “Mom, I know Roe,-” (being actresses and all), “but where am I going to see Rosie O’Donnell? I’m in L.a., she’s in New York…” my voice trailed off. There was a pause, and then mom said, “Yeah, I know…”
So like not more than 5 days later I walk out my front door and there is Rosie O’Donnell in my next door neighbor’s driveway lifting a huge gift wrapped package out of the trunk of her rent-a-car.
“Hey Melanie.” “Oh, hey Rosie,” I said kind of shocked that I had been talking about her and how there was no way I could run into her and here she is in the driveway next door to me. “What you doing out here?” “Oh going to a friend’s baby shower.” She was actually best friend’s with my next door neighbor and they were going together. Suddenly we hear a baby screaming. It was her first child. She lifted him out of his car seat and told me what a bad diaper rash he had and how she’d tried everything. She asked if I wanted to see. “Sure,” I said… I couldn’t believe my conversation with mom just days ago and here it is, Rosie O’Donnell standing in front of me with her baby, screaming at the top of his lungs with a flaming diaper rash. She put him down on the grass and undid his diaper. “See?” He sure was red. I said, “Hey Roe, you want some diaper cream for that rash?” She looked up surprised. “Yeah, sure, why you got some?” I told her that my dad and I were working on one and I ran into my bungalow as fast as I could, shaking my head the whole time. I grabbed a small white blank tube, with a little label scotch-taped on with some of my dad’s bic-penned scrawl. I handed it to Rosie. She eyed the tube for a moment. “What’s this?” “Oh that’s the cream. Put it on.”
So she did. I told her to keep the tube… We chatted a bit and then she and her son went on their way. About a week or so later I come home and on my message machine it says I have 22 messages. The day after I won my Emmy for “thirtysomething” I had 19, so something big must have happened and I didn’t know how it could be bigger than winning an Emmy. I played the messages. Message after message was the same. “I was watching the Rosie O’Donnell Show today and she talked about your diaper cream. And how it was the only thing that fixed up her baby.” Apparently she said something like,”I don’t know what happened to Melanie Mayron’s acting career, but now she’s making diaper cream!”
The next day I was at a local, West Hollywood restaurant, a hot spot for brilliant breakfasts, Hugo’s, and this gay waiter walks past me, and then suddenly stops in his tracks, turns on his heels and takes me in.
“Well look who we have here! It’s the “Tushy Lady.”
I couldn’t believe it…. We all laughed.
So now, twelve years later, we are up and running and we have the cream for sale. And it is the best we ever made. So for once, I can officially say, “I am indeed, The Tushy Lady!”